Golden Arches & Golden Showers

I swore that I would never be that mom that stops to grab fast food because it's just "easier." In fact, I did very well for a long time with that promise. He was nearly two before he had his first taste of greasy fried food. This also wasn't my doing. We were having a big family birthday party and someone went and got all the kids happy meals. That person wasn't me. I didn't stop it though. And then I didn't stop it later either. In the last few months I think we've stopped to get french fries every week. Typically this happens after soccer practice on Saturdays when it's lunch time and we have to drive by on the way home. It also works successfully as a bribe for him to follow directions and be a good listener while at practice. Don't judge.

Naturally, it has drawbacks. Whenever we pass a McDonald's, I hear begs and pleas from the backseat, "French fries, Mommy, french fries!!" To which I usually reply, "Mommy doesn't have any money, Bubba, and french fries cost money."

Last week on the way home from the park, I had to swing through the drive through at the bank, which happens to be a couple buildings down from you know where. To my surprise, he didn't cry out for the greasy potato sticks. Instead I hear, "Do you have money, Mommy?"

{shaking my head}
Sure doesn't take him long to figure things out.

Now while I'm on the subject of McDonald's, it has come to my attention that I never shared about a particular experience on our drive to Florida.

So here goes...

The drive to Florida was about 14 hours...give or take. First, I must say that Gavin did awesome during the drive. I mean, AWESOME. He watched Cars over and over and over again. We stopped about every two hours to stretch, and more often than not, it wasn't because Gavin needed the break ;) The second thing I would like to point out is that I believe EVERY McDonald's south of  Dayton has a play-land attached to it. Every. Single. One. You can't find a McDonald's Play-land near Toledo. This doesn't upset me. I don't need to be taking him to play at a place where he will obviously be eating a deep fried lunch or dinner.

However, when a pit stop was needed during a long drive, it was a perfect place to stop, use the restroom, grab a coffee and let him run around for a little bit. And of course, eat french fries.

Helllooooo Ronald.

It only took Gavin a few minutes to get comfortable and start climbing through the hamster-like tunnels. He loved it and he had the whole place to himself. It was perfect.....for about fifteen minutes.

A family of four decided to stop in for some fun in the romper room too. Mom and Dad sat at the table next to us, while their two boys leaped into the first tunnel. See Gavin up in there? He's two. These two kids about to catch up to him appeared to be approximately 5 and 7, if not older. I could hear the boys clambering up the stairs and through the tunnels. Any minute they would be passing by where Gavin sat waving down to us. Any minute now, I would see them coming down the slide. Any minute now. But no, the next thing we heard was the MOM next to us screaming, "Get your butt down here, right now!" Here I am, waving to Gavin and enjoying my first ever McCafe Mocha Frappe (which are delicious, by the way) and am startled by a very large, very outspoken, woman. There isn't anyone in here, what could she possibly be hooting and hollering about. And then we saw. From the top of the slide there was something dripping through the seams of the colorful fun-house. And it was exactly what you guessed it might be.

 Sick. Sick. Sick.

Apparently they stopped for a restroom break and forgot to use the facilities first. I want to gag when Gavin pees in the bathtub at home. It's just gross. Now here he is, inches from crawling through another little boys urine! I should be screaming "Stop, Gavin, Stop! Don't. Go. Down. The. Slide!" But I know it won't do any good. He's two years old. He doesn't know it's pee. He doesn't know that it is absolutely sick and revolting. And it's highly unlikely I'm going to get him to crawl back through all the tunnels and back down the steps. So I did what I anyone else in my place what have done. I screamed "OMG, I can't believe that kid just peed up there!!" I laughed. And then my aunt laughed. Followed by my cousin. What else were we to do? We were on our way to the sunshine state and foul moods were not invited.

And then I jumped up to wait by the bottom of the slide so I could quickly take him to get cleaned up. You can imagine my shock when he came down without shoes on? What the heck? Guess he didn't want to get them "wet." Blech.

It wasn't the end of the world. It's not like I couldn't get him new clothes. I did have a suitcase full of new outfits in the car. It was disturbing because the parents sitting next to us never even looked in our direction. No apology, no acknowledgment. Nothing. I understand kids have accidents. (even at the age of 5+) But I can assure you, if it was Gavin that had the accident I would be apologizing to the parents next to me. (and then hurrying out of there mortified!)

Nope, not these parents. They finally got the child changed and then started yelling about ice cream. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, I guess. Mind you the tunnel is still dripping. Was MOM going to clean it up? Were they even going to notify an employee that it needed cleaned up? 

My Aunt Jeanna finally got up to go tell someone of the wretchedness leaking from the top of the slide. It was probably trickling down the slide at this point. {I'm going to be sick thinking about it}

As Jeanna stands in line, the older boy comes back with a paper towel in hand and hands it to MOM. Let me tell you that she was not one of those physically fit soccer moms. Not by a long shot.Yet up she went. And somehow she made it through the tunnels and wiped up the mess and shimmied down the slide. I don't think it's possible she could have done a very good job cleaning it up with the tiny bit of paper towel she took, buuuut there was no way she was going to hover above it, so I'm thinking her pants and long tunic soaked up what she may have missed. So.Gross. But it did make me feel better. I recall some cheering going on for her when she reached the bottom of the slide by the small crowd that had gathered with their children. I may or may not have been cheering because I had a hunch she was covered in urine. Again, don't judge.

This was the first and last time Gavin has been to a McDonald's Play-land.

So long, Ronald.