One year

I can't believe that it's been a year ago TODAY, that I went back to work after taking a ten week hiatus from work to be with my newborn son. Man, does time fly. Has it really been a year??
I remember the struggles I had that first week. I even made Tim leave work for a short "break" to drop Gavin off with me at daycare for his first day so I would be able to leave. I have to be honest, while it was difficult, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I believe it contributed to the amazing women at the daycare center. They love their jobs, and they love the babies! Not only do they provide daycare, they snuggle and love the kids. They get to know them, they learn their needs and wants, and each and every one of their personalites. This made it much easier for me to leave him in such good hands:)..being I had to go back to work eventually anyway.

One year later, Gavin is still loving daycare. Some days he cries when I go to leave, and it breaks my heart. Other days, he reaches out to the caregiver immediately. This also breaks my heart. However, it also makes me happy to know that he is happy and comfortable with who I am leaving him with for the afternoon.

I am glad to be back to work over the past year and have developed a routine with Gavin. Some days are struggles, but it's all part of life with a child. I can't imagine my life without him.

While I don't have a picture to put with this post, I do have some words to say....

Before I was a mom, I never learned the words to a lullaby. I never thought about immunizations. I had never been puked on, pooped on, drooled, chewed on, or peed on. I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, and my life. (I like to think so anyway.) I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple little grin or giggle. I never sat up for hours watching someone sleep. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much! I never knew that I could love someone so much before even meeting them. (ask my mom, I cried getting wheeled into surgery. Good tears. Tears of joy, anxiety...complete mess of emotions) Before I was a mom...I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body.

To all the moms reading this....Especially my own....You are truely beautiful and amazing people!!